It was 4pm in the evening when I visited a dear friend of mine and that was the time for her daughter to return home from school. I was observing that my friend was barely listening to me as her ears were only on the door bell. She could understand that I noticed that and said she should be totally available to her child when she comes home.
For, we never know in what mood she comes home especially being a teenager. She was narrating about keeping her fingers crossed daily guessing whether it would be a pleasant greeting or any emotional outburst. Or anger that one of her friends did not talk to her or upset for not doing so well in her class test. Or it could simply be that she burnt lots of calories and comes home with hunger pangs and the world would turn upside down if something is not ready to eat.
In the meanwhile, her daughter came. Luckily, she was full of joy that day due to her good performance in a particular extra curricular activity. She heartily enjoyed the lovely snack made by my friend. If you think that the child is very moody and that’s the reason her mom was worried about, you are mistaken!
I remember my childhood days – how I missed my mom whenever she was not at home at the time I came back from school. Children look forward to sharing their stories, expect a cuddle from the parent and just want to feel their presence when they come home after a long working day in the school. Actually that’s the time they realise they are still young and someone who adores them is waiting at home and they can just release all their emotions there. Age is never a parameter here.
The same goes with her elder daughter who is pursuing her medicine and comes home in the evening after a long distance travel. My friend, though not available to her physically during that time, makes sure that she gets refreshed with her favorite snacks. Her daughter then waits until my friend gets home. And then, she is ready with her bunch of stories of the day. My friend gives her quality time to her daughters being a good listener. She lends her lap to them stroking their head gently, laughing aloud with them , teasing them. And all the three could create a magical bond among themselves and just can’t miss out this time.
Being a good listener makes the parent a friend of their children, they need not think ways to monitor them or spy their activities. I understand that with the present lifestyle, all the parents cannot be available to the children when they return from school or college. But a phone call not only to inquire things about studies or food but a casual talk with them helps in such cases. Taking out time for them once the parents come home or at least during the weekends having a general conversation, being silly or playing together definitely tightens the relationships.
I bet, an assurance to them that you are always there for them, cuts all barriers. They trust you completely and start sharing with you everything that’s going on in their life!
I hope many of them who read this article are part of the listening parents club😊