An Open Letter to the Parents: Stress to Strength – Part I

The new academic term of our children going to kindergarten is on the nook, the schools have loaded us with books and syllabus. We parents have desperately gone through each and every page minutely of the books and syllabus of our children. Even before the child  starts going to school, we have started stressing ourselves and our children about the syllabus.

Every parent expects their child to excel in the class but here I  want the  parents to very clearly understand that we have to keep academics pressure simple & age appropriate. Most of the times parents tangle themselves in the rat race & completely forget that children are individuals and not each and every child will act or react the same.

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Focus on the right things

The syllabus of any standard is a general setup. Each child is different and all children perform differently. Only completing the syllabus or getting A+  should not be our goal or the parameter to decide a child’s intelligence. We need to understand what to expect from our children. To get the correct answers, we need to put up correct questions. Sometimes our over-expectation leads us in to a miserable situation. One should expect efforts from children, not perfection. The completion of syllabus or getting distinction is not a benchmark to the child’s success – what matters is how much of that syllabus is understood and absorbed. As the understanding and absorption what the children gain will make their foundation strong. We need to focus on making the foundation strong, not just feeding the knowledge without any understanding.

Syllabus vs Foundation

Nowadays the schools have loaded the children with heavy academic pressure.  The Kindergarten curriculum of most of the schools is too heavy for three to five year old child to understand. Rote learning is the only option left then for a child or a parent to cope up with the class. The schools are running with syllabus, no concept is given proper time to understand. Most of the time, only the concepts are introduced and left out  for rote learning. Children do not get enough time to understand.

Parents have to play an important role rather than just pushing a child to complete the syllabus. We should ourselves calm down and think and tailor stitch the syllabus according to our child’s age, capabilities and interest. Instead of completing let’s divide it according to our child’s acceptance and understanding and move ahead with the child’s learning pace.

The Right Skills for the Right Age

The routine of a Kindergarten is so hectic that he outbeats a board student and this routine is gifted by parents. In this academic pressure we completely forget the child has to develop love towards studies. Learning is not a one day job, it will be for years. If the child from the very early age starts disliking studies, he will not sustain on a long run. This is a very sensitive matter so we need to deal with it accordingly. We steal their play time and offer them tuition from the very early age, so that the child can match up to the class.

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We are in a race where our child should know everything.  As soon as the school starts, parents don’t even think that if the child’s fine motors, the sensorial skills are developed. Parents are not ready to wait. They fear that this waiting period will make the child lag in class or amongst his peers. And this hurry leaves the growth of the child incomplete.

Redefine Stress

My dear parents, this thought process really needs to go through a change. We need to redefine our definition of Stress.

We need to think that everything has its own growing period and that period should be given. If we don’t give that time it will somewhere hamper the child’s growth. The best example that I can give here is, if a mom thinks that 9 months is a long period for her to deliver a baby , she doesn’t want to wait and wants the baby in 4 months – do you think it is possible? Just pause and think what I am trying to underline here. Now let’s take this thought deep and think. The baby which needs 9 months to come out of mom’s womb comes out in 4 months, is the baby completely matured to come out ????

The answer to this question is the conclusion of the whole topic…..

You are smart to know the consequences of this episode, just connect this episode to what we do with the kindergarten .


Tips to keep our minds and kids happy:

  1. If the kids are imperfect, that’s ok.
  2. Schedule daily relaxing activities for yourself and your kids.
  3. Understand that kids learn in different ways.
  4. Try to see positive in kids.
  5. Avoid negative and use positive statements.

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